Advice · LiveJournal

FINDING THE RIGHT GUY FOR YOU

Ever feel like everyone has met their match but you? Not to worry! Your perfect guy is out there — here’re some tips on how to meet him!

1. Don’t make yourself over. If you’ve been without that someone special in your life for a while, you may be thinking that there’s something wrong with you. So, you decide to lose weight, gain weight, change your hair, buy new clothes, hang out with different people. But all that effort can lead to more disappointment when the "new" you doesn’t get the guy. Your best bet? Be yourself. You’re great the way you are. And, believing that makes guys see you as confident and attractive.

2. Socialize. If you want to meet a guy get out and circulate. Seriously. How’re you supposed to meet anyone if you’re home watching TV? Also, when you’re out meeting people, keep this statistic in mind*Studies have shown that the majority of people are emotionally compatible with only about one out of 25 people. So, the odds that the first guy you talk to at a party is the guy for you are slim. There’s no need to be disappointed. Just talk to as many different guys as you can. You’ll get a better sense of the type of guy you gravitate toward. What’s the best way of going about meeting lots of guys? Here are some strategies for socializing:

Join school clubs or sports teams. Whether it’s volleyball, the school paper or the debate team, the beauty is that you’ll meet new people with interests similar to yours!
Consider getting a part-time job. You never know who’ll be working along side you*plus, the extra $ couldn’t hurt!
Get involved. Sign up for the school/church car wash, bake sale or canned food drive. You’ll interact with new people and benefit a good cause in one fell swoop.

3. Expect a first date to be awkward. So, you’ve met a guy you think is nice and you’re planning to go out. Don’t be surprised if you experience the dating equivalent of stage fright. You may become tongue-tied, after all, you want to impress him. You may feel that you need to keep the conversation rolling. Any pauses or silences can feel awkward. Don’t worry. Chances are, he’s feeling the same way. So, what to talk about? Ask him about himself, his favorite classes, his family. Try to ask open-ended questions that need more than a one-word response (Why do you like The Rock best?). As for where to go on your date, you may want to attend a sporting event or head to the local mall, someplace where there are lots of people, sights and sounds to comment on. That way, if things become really awkward you’ll have something else to focus on.

4. Recognize that being in a relationship involves a lot of work. Contrary to what romance novels and sappy teen movies depict, love at first sight is rare. But you can increase the odds of knowing that a guy is right for you if you know what it is you want in a guy! What traits does your ideal guy have? What are some that you wouldn’t be able to tolerate? Create a dream guy on paper. While a guy may not meet every requirement on your list, you will be able to get a better sense of whether or not he’s right for you. It’s certainly easier to find what you want if you know what you’re looking for!

5. Trust your intuition. Attraction is based on chemistry. If you feel really uncomfortable around a particular guy, don’t continue to date him thinking things will change. Ask yourself some questions. Do you feel you can trust him? Does he value your opinions? Does he treat you with respect? If you answer "no," rethink whether or not he’s the one for you. Don’t waste your time with someone who isn’t up to your standards.

6. Don’t ignore your friends. Your best friends can be a real asset when it comes to meeting guys. Set some guy-meeting goals. For example, one week you can challenge each other to say hi to five guys. The next week, dare each other to ask one out. And, of course, you can always turn to your friends for guy advice and feedback – remember though that they’re not experts either and that you need to trust your gut.

7. Be enthusiastic. Continue to stay involved in school clubs and activities that are important to you. Guys like girls who get involved in life, not girls who are solely involved in getting a guy!

8. Take it slowly. Be sure you really get to know a guy before things get serious. If he can’t wait to get intimate, his interest in the relationship may have more to do with sex than you. Remember this above all else: A guy who really likes you*will be there whether you’re sleeping with him or not.

9. Don’t forget to have fun! You may need to meet lots of guys before you meet the right one for you, but you’ll learn a lot in the process. Even though the statistics show that out of 25 guys, you’re only likely to click with one of them, the other 24 guys are likely to be nice people, just not your type. Plus, they may be friends with the guy who the one for you! Take some advice from the people who care about you the most. Your family and friends have made clear that you deserve the best. There’s a lot to be gained by taking time to find the right guy and seeking out a guy who will appreciate you! The guy for you is out there*get ready to meet him!

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